All the content I’ve read about giving up drinking, better skin, clearer eyes, deeper sleep has all been happening and it’s wonderful. But it’s the raw feelings I’ve been experiencing that has been hard to cope with this week.
The week started off badly when my teenage daughter wagged school on Monday afternoon. I grounded her for the week on a week when we’d agreed she could be signed out for two days to go to the beach with her friends as school is winding down. She’s been miserable.
I’ve also had an extremely stressful week at work this week for three reasons; I have had to step in to deal with an employee who has borderline personality disorder, PTSD and an eating disorder. Three of my Senior Managers have been off sick and I’m in the final stages of negotiating a complex multi million contract which needs to be signed before I go on leave for Christmas.
I’ve been working long hours, late nights, early mornings and I’ve exercised every day. I’m tired, physically and mentally.
I have a marketing background and when we run marketing campaigns we always have a control group. I am like this group, separated from anything that may affect the way I truly feel.
In normal circumstances two nights this week I would have come home and drunk a bottle of wine to deal with the stress of work. One night I went for a run instead and the other I went to Bikram. Both nights I came home feeling good and very relaxed and not feeling like a drink at all.
It’s like exploring a whole new world.
This week my body has kept it’s own score and it’s been raw. But as I’m not affected by the effects of alcohol tiredness I know my emotional state has been entirely real. Genuinely tired, not hungover tired. The experience of tired between these states is quite different.
It’s been a tough week but I’m really proud of myself for handling it without caving in and having a glass of wine (or ten).
No comments:
Post a Comment