Valentine’s Day

 It’s Valentine’s Day today. A day of love, roses, champagne, jewellery, dinner, wine. Well usually. 

We won’t be opening a bottle of champagne or a bottle of wine.

Instead I bought my husband a stunning card. It was the only one of its kind in the newsagent. It’s been ages since I bought a card and when I took it to the register to pay I discovered it was $17.99.

I almost choked. But it’s beautiful and most importantly it’s not gushy. I am not a gushy individual and I cannot bring myself to buy heartfelt, emotional cards with sentiments someone else has written that in no way reflect the way I feel. This card simply says, I’m hooked on you.

My husband is my best friend. We’ve had some tremendously difficult ups and downs. We nearly separated six years ago. But he’s also my best friend. I miss him when we’re not together. He’s always the only one I want to tell about my day. He’s the one I want to go adventuring with. We have heated discussions and companionable silences. We’ve been together now 17 years. That’s heaps of history too. It’s lovely to be able to say, remember when. 

So, he’s worth $17.99. Besides I’ve saved $60 on a bottle of champagne and $40 on a bottle of wine.

The rise of brunch

 I have friends who we only ever catch up with at drinking establishments and with whom we drink a lot of wine. There’s one couple who we really enjoy spending time with and we haven’t seen them since I stopped drinking. I had been trying to work out how we would do it. Anything I organised would be difficult and so I just didn’t organise anything. But then I got a phone call from the husband. We haven’t seen you in ages, and we’d really like to catch up before the operation.

It was a new ABC comedy series based in the Adelaide Hills which solved my problem for me. They used Uraidla as a location and it occurred to me we hadn’t been to Uraidla in over a year. It’s a beautiful little township which over the last few weeks has been ‘reimagined’ and is now one of the coolest places in the Hills to hang out. A renovated pub, new cafes and a little local produce and handcrafts market has made it a destination just right for a weekend brunch.

At brunch you drink coffee and orange juice, not alcohol. This was the perfect solution and as such as headed to Uraidla yesterday morning and had a long lazy brunch with a poke around the recycled timber and salvage store. I haven’t enjoyed myself so much in ages. It was the perfect catch up. 

So now I have my solution, I don’t need to meet friends at pubs anymore, or even for dinner. Brunch is my go to catch up with friends event. I’ve already booked in my next one...

Kicking the scales

 Last Saturday when I weighed myself I was the lightest I’d been since quitting the alcohol. Three days later, after having exercised every day, eaten well and drunk plenty of water I was two kilos heavier. I was utterly despondent.

Complaining to a gym bunny colleague of mine, she told me not to be so hard on myself. Asked me how I was feeling and if my clothes were fitting better. 

Well they are. I have reduced in size, toned up, my clothes fit well and I’m actually enjoying picking out and wearing an outfit. I’m bringing clothes out of my closet I haven’t worn in ages and I’ve treated myself to a couple of fancy new skirts and a dress. She told me to kick the scales. She knows someone who lost two dress sizes and not one kilo because she built muscle, toned up and lost inches. 

I now look at my wardrobe longingly. I have a extensive collection of clothes, shoes and handbags and now there aren’t enough days in the week to mix and match my outfits. I have been taking more pride in my appearance and I’ve had some compliments about well I’m looking.

In a private conversation with a colleague who’s also a good friend I told her that not drinking is addictive. I’ve not felt this good in as a long as I can remember. My body, my skin, my hair, my posture is all thanking me for it. 

How can I go back? I don’t need to. I don’t want to. I feel like I’ve cracked a massive secret. That by removing things that don’t benefit you physically or mentally you’ll feel amazing seems such an obvious concept. 

So from mow on I’m going by how I feel and how my clothes fit and kicking the scales to the kerb. 

Popcorn

 I went back to Pilates last week when I returned to work. Karen, my teacher, works me hard. So much so I can feel my glute muscles all the way through the week to my next class.

She observed that I was still glowing from my time away. I told her I’d quit drinking and that was more likely the source of the glow. She was amazed I hadn’t mentioned it. 

When I reflected on this conversation later two things became startlingly clear. I am no longer embarrassed, trying to hide or uncomfortable with telling people I’m not drinking. But perhaps more importantly, it feels normal.

Karen asked if I’d found it difficult and I sad yes I had, particularly in the first month and in the lead up to Christmas. But the words that came naturally afterwards made me realise how far I’d come. I said to Karen, I don’t even think about it anymore. And that’s true. On the weekends when I slow down a bit and have time to think, I don’t even think about having a glass of wine. The connection between Friday and Saturday nights, watching movies and drinking wine has been broken. It’s not a habit anymore. 

That’s a milestone if ever I saw one. However my popcorn consumption has increased exponentially...